He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
