I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Randomize