Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
