help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
