so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
