I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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