never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
