So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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