i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
