I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize