I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
