Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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