hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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