I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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