If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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