I'm drive I can fine osifer
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
