Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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