shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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