im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
