you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
3 2 1 whiskey
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize