how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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