Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
