I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
