Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
