im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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