Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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