its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
