Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
