Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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