Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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