I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
