i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
