This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
