I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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