that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
