Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
