Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
