for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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