thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
