grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
