Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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