I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
