What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
