We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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