just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
