i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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