You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
