what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
