And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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