I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
