so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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