I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
