the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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