I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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