Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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