just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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