I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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