i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
