so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
