He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
