help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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