you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize