I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
